Supposed Tos
by Weird Not Boring
Summary: It wasn’t supposed to be like this. She was just supposed to use him, get him out of her system, then move on. She was never supposed to love him back. James and Lily oneshot


**_Disclaimers are pointless. If I was really J.K.R., don't you think I'd be working on the 7th book rather than working on stuff like this?_**

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It wasn't supposed to be like this. She was just supposed to use him, get him out of her system, then move on. It was never supposed to be more than an experiment. How did it really feel, she wanted to know. There was no way she was going to get hurt because there was no way she could actually have feelings for him.

Not him, never. How could she ever have feelings for him?

They were complete opposites; there'd be nothing to worry about.

But there was.

She couldn't quite remember how it all started, something about her needing help in Transfiguration, or something. Of course it was a lie, she's never needed help with anything. Well, anything that she'd need his help with.

They began meeting once a week, where very little studying was actually done. Once Madam Pince kicked them out of the library for talking too loud, they moved down to the lake, under that one tree with the twisty branches. She didn't know what it was called, she was never good at remembering things like that.

Things quickly progressed and before they knew it, not only was there no studying being done, there was no talking being done as well.

He seemed perfectly fine about this, if only a little guilty about being a bad tutor, but she waved him off, blushing prettily, and said that she didn't mind, she thought she got the concepts well enough now.

But really, at night, all alone in her dorm, with curtains, spelled to keep sound out and in, pulled tight around her bed, she tossed and turned, wondering why she was having such a hard time of breaking it off.

What was this funny feeling she kept getting when she saw him? Certainly not love. They were complete opposites. No, she must just want to get to know him better, that's all.

So they began dating. All under the name of science, of course. She had to figure out what that strange feeling she got was, and, since she only got it around him, that meant that she'd have to hang out with him more, that was it. Once she figured it out, it would go away for sure.

But it didn't.

In fact, it only got worse.

They were sitting together, talking a little, kissing a lot, when he looked her straight in the eye and said, "I love you,"

So she ran.

Because she finally understood what that feeling was.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. She was never supposed to love him back. She was never supposed to have to run up to the Astronomy tower, all two hundred and thirty-two steps, to escape him. She shouldn't have had to lock the door behind her, because she _knew_ the footsteps behind her - chasing her - were his.

She wasn't supposed to be hurt, but she was.

As she sat, crying to herself, he finally managed to break in. She wasn't very surprised, her spell work was pretty shoddy since she was so distressed.

His face was red and his hands were shaky as he stormed up to her. He yelled: "What the hell are you doing?"

She was completely taken aback. He wasn't _supposed_ to yell! "I-" she began.

"Yeah, let's hear it. I'm sure you have the perfect excuse to explain why you would run when I told you that I loved you!"

"Don't interrupt me," she yelled, hastily wiping the tears from her eyes. "And don't yell at me!"

"What's with you, Lily?" He asked her, coming close, reaching out, but she only pushed him away.

"I don't know!" she exclaimed, sobbing. Tears ran down her cheeks and she murmured again and again how confused she was, that she didn't know what she was doing.

She didn't know when she finally let him hold her, or when she first began to cry on his shoulder, but hours later, she was finally all cried out. He held her close, her head still rested on his shoulder and told her that it would be all right. That it was okay that she was confused. That he was there for her.

It wasn't supposed to be like this. He wasn't supposed to be there for her - wasn't supposed to comfort her. He was supposed to be all wrong, not all right. She was supposed to get over him, but she found herself falling for him instead. Her brilliant plan, which supposedly had no flaws, was supposed to work perfectly, had failed her. But later, after he held her close as she told him how everything was supposed to work, he kissed her on her nose and said how glad he was about how it had all worked out and she knew that maybe, just maybe, this was how things were supposed to be.

Maybe her plan was supposed to fail.

But then she shook her head, clearing her thoughts. Messing with "supposed tos" was dangerous, she thought as she snuggled closer, much safer would be going with the flow, and she was very happy with where this one was going.

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**_A/N: Okay, it's been a very very long time since I've actually finished a story, so even though this one is rather choppy and very short (and is probably going to go through a rewrite process if not a total deletion on a later date), I decided to get it out here already. I figured that I've seen worse, but reading through this one more time I realize that maybe I haven't. Anyway, I really am iffy about this one, so all reviews will be 10x more helpful than normal! Thanks!_**


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